This morning as I took some time to read a great book I’m reading (Maeve Binchy – love her stories), a sentence in it completely resonated with me.
It came from a discussion with two ladies: regards some issues the elder of the women had been experiencing with her mental well-being and of feeling ‘un- balanced’ that she had not acknowledged.
“Well that’s what it is, isn’t it? You’ve got the balance wrong. You need someone to help you mend the scales. Like as if you had a broken leg. It wouldn’t heal without someone to set it”
“I don’t need a doctor”
“We all need a doctor some time along the way. Why don’t you try it? It’s it’s no use then it’s no use, but at least you gave it a good try”
This week in my professional circle, I sadly became aware of yet another high profile suicide. Someone who on the outside appeared to have it all. Yet was evidently suffering.
We hear more and more of high profile suicides. However, there are many more not high profile that we don’t hear about. Sadly, most of us now know of someone in our own circle. The single biggest killer for Men under the age of 45 is suicide.
As a Mum of two boys. I feel compelled to take action now to help them get mentally strong as well as physically, in order to cope with life of today.
We are exposed today to so much ‘perfection’. In our lifestyle, our physical appearance, our achievements, our mental wellbeing. Yet most of it is filtered. However, it is killing us more today than ever before.
I can’t even begin to understand how fragile a mind needs to be in order to think that death seems far more appealing than living. But that’s the thing isn’t it, you can’t comprehend it, so people hide it, they might not even recognise it in themselves, they just know that they feel so different to the perfect lives they see around them and this, without acknowledgement or treatment gets worse and worse like a pressure cooker – until BOOM. Suicide becomes the only way out.
Why do we think it’s ok to call a doctor to fix an imbalance in our physical being? It’s normal for us to do this. We have a sore leg, a headache, a tummy ache, the flu. We call a doctor or go to A&E.
Yet. We still see it as abnormal to get help to deal with an imbalance in our mind.
Our mind is one of the most powerful tools we have to stay well. It is either our friend or our enemy and we need to look after it, nurture it, cleanse it, care for it as much, if not more than our physical body.
I’ve not experienced depression myself. I’ve not felt fragile enough that I have needed help. However, I’ve learnt what horrendous anxiety feels like, I’ve learnt that I have thoughts and feelings that I know are not in line with ‘my normal’. I’ve also learnt that at some point soon I might need some help to balance back my scales as I can’t always do it on my own. I’m not ashamed to admit it and I refuse to be ashamed of taking the action I need to do it either. None of us should.
How many of us are feeling unbalanced mentally right now? How many of us are putting on a mask and pretending all is ok because we feel like we don’t have a choice?
Please don’t. Talk to someone. You are NOT alone.💕
A sore on a leg if left can become infected, if infected it can get worse and before you know it, it has impacted your blood, other organs…… if we took early action with the sore, we can prevent the more serious issues. This is the same with our mind. Know that strength comes in taking action and action cures fear.
What good is a long life where doctors can fix almost any ‘physical break or issue’ when your mind is being held together with sticky tape.
We should raise this issue. Make it normal to talk about. Make it as normal to have your ‘mind doctor’ as speed dial in your phone as you do your own GP.
Please don’t suffer alone. Seek help. We all have such a lot to live for, if we can just get our scales balanced and our head loved once more.
Let’s work together to support each other. Together let’s make it normal to speak about our mental health as well as our physical health. Together let’s take action get our ‘mind’ scales back in balance.💪🏻
Speak up – you are NOT alone.🙏🏻